


Diving in endless oceans

by hopelessandtaken



Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: Angst, Betrayal, Depression, F/M, Friendship, Hurt, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-26
Updated: 2018-01-28
Packaged: 2018-10-10 18:55:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10444983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hopelessandtaken/pseuds/hopelessandtaken
Summary: "I am with you."As always, the voice was so loving."Now, do it and your pain is gone."The creature's hand over his practiced slow pressure. A gentle kiss on his cheek."Good night, Tsunayoshi."And a loud 'bang' echoed through the room.And he broke.





	1. Prologue

#####  **Disclaimer: I do not own Katekyou Hitman Reborn**

 

Was infidelity a reason to die?  
No, it wasn't a reason to take someone's life and certainly not your own life.  
Yes, it is painful. But a person must look ahead and never stop.  
Even if it's hard. It's the only way to escape these torments.

 

The man to whom everything had been trusted. To be left behind by him is painful.  
No, it was not just a person. There were two important persons in his life. The one like a brother and the other? Like a best friend, even if his character traits were initially 'slightly' tiring. The irony lay in 'slightly', since this person was more than just exhausting.  
Like a lover to whom he could confide everything-he made his lover angry when he kept everything to himself. Angry was the wrong word. It made him furious.  
Trust. Now he could only laugh at it. How could he ever trust anyone again? (Except his beloved mother, he could always rely on her, even if he did not want to admit it, the same was for his equally beloved father, without whom he would not be here.)

 

However, soon came a time when he asked himself: Why am I here at all?  
What had his life for a purpose?  
He was grateful to have had the chance to meet all these wonderful people, even though most of them have only caused him problems.  
But slowly he had the feeling of being mad.  
This fraud was already causing him to exhaustion. He had even thought of a second chance, but that changed very quickly ...

 

Infidelity was no reason to die.  
But to be abandoned by everyone ...  
His life had no purpose.  
It was his fault. Just his fault that all this happened.  
If he had not distanced himself further from his lover ...  
If he had not distanced himself from his family slowly ...  
If he had not been manipulated ...  
By this disgusting creature ...  
Could he have avoided it?  
Yes.  
Why?  
He should have talked to someone. Just like his lover always demanded. He would not have retired. Isolated himself. Then his love would not have been unfaithful.  
But he was afraid. Fear of the consequences.

 

Now he stood on the brink of despair and only wanted to do one thing.  
To kill himself.  
Behind him, he heard a low chuckle.

 

_"Do it"_

 

His eyelids closed and hot salty tears rolled down his pale cheeks.  
The gun in his hand, still directed to the ground.  
"Help." He whispered. "I can not do it anymore." "I do not want to be alone anymore."  
His arm lifted by itself. No. Cold hands led the gun to his head.

 

_"Do it."_ it said softly.  
_"It will not hurt."_ it encouraged him softly.

 

Then he shook his head from uncertainty. "No, it will hurt."

 

The creature wrapped its cold arms around his neck and sighed in his ear. Even its breath was freezing.  
_"Otherwise you can not escape all this, my dear."_

 

He opened his eyes again, the tears still flowing. "For real?"

 

It gently stroked his soft hair like a mother. _"Yes"_ With their fingertips, it glided up his arm to the gun and released the fuse for him. He pinched his eyes, making even more tears flow down.  
Everything was dark around him.  
Black.  
He thought of his family.  
Mother ... Father ... would they cry? Certainly.  
Fuuta. Lambo. I-pin. Bianchi.  
_'I'm sorry'_ he thought.  
Gokudera. Yamamoto. Ryohei. Kyoko. Haru. Chrome. Mukuro.  
They'd probably hate him even more.  
Dino. Hibari-san.  
He tightened his eyes even more.  
Reborn ...  
He wanted to scream. Until he had no more voice.  
"I'm afraid." He finally said.

 

_"I am with you."_ As always the voice was so loving.  
_"Now do it and your pain is gone."_  
The creature's hand over his practiced slow pressure. A gentle kiss on his cheek. _"Good night, Tsunayoshi."_ And a loud 'bang' echoed through the room.

 

And he broke.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There might be mistakes ... I'm sorry v.v

#####  **Disclaimer: I do not own Katekyou Hitman Reborn**

 

Everything was peaceful.  
He could hear his family laugh as he sat in the huge garden, looking at his view. The heavenly laughter of his beloved filled his whole being. He felt always warm when he thought of them all. He thanked Reborn every time. Only through him did he meet such great people. A small smile formed on his lips and he closed his heavy eyelids.  
Slowly he fell asleep.  
But the laughter grew louder and louder.

And louder.

And louder.

Even louder.

Until it became intolerable and he realized that it was no longer their laughter.

Shouting.

Immediately he opened his eyes and saw only darkness. At the same moment it was immediately silent. So quiet that it was already creepy and the darkness didn't make it any better.  
Now he noticed that he was sitting on hard ground.  
He stood up with ease and realised how light his body felt.

 _"Tsuna."_ he heard softly behind him. He whirled around and looked at his mansion. That burned. His eyes widened, so much so that he thought they would fall out.  
And there seemed to be noises again.  
From there came the screaming. Without thinking, he ran inside. He was prepared to be surrounded by flames that swallowed everything, but it was gone ...  
He was surrounded by normal non-burning furniture of the lounge.

"What? Why?" He mumbled, and searched with panic his family in the dark hall, which usually led to the garden, and his friends were mostly here.

"Hayato?"

No Answer.

"Takeshi?"

No Answer.

His voice began to tremble. "K-Kyōya?"

Crying echoed from everywhere. From the left. From the right. From behind. From the front. It confused his senses. And it was so loud.

"Reborn ?!" He tried this time louder.

_"Tsuna. Over here."_

He could only circle around himself. "Where?"

_"Tsuna. Over here."_

It was frustrating. "Where?!"  
He didn't even know who spoke to him.

_"Tsuna."_

It came from everywhere. Voices overlapped.

_"Tsuna."_

He shook his head. "No. Stop."

_"Tsuna."_

"Stop, stop, stop, stop."

Voices stopped, one after another. Until it was only a gentle one from afar.

 

_" ... na."_

 

_"Tsu ..."_

 

"Tsuna!" His eyes snapped with fright and his head rose jerkily from the desk.  
He looked around panic-stricken. He was in his office ...  
A sheet of paper stuck to his cheek, which was presumably full of saliva.

"Geez, Tsuna. If you're tired, you should sleep in your bed and not at the desk."

Tsuna's gaze followed the voice as he pulled the sheet from his cheek. Yamamoto looked at him with worried eyes, but his everyday smile adorned his face.  
"No, no, I have to finish this." He made a gesture to his paperwork. "Reborn will kill me otherwise."

"Reborn? Ah ... He was just here."

Tsuna's eyes widened, "W-What?" 

Then Yamamoto crossed his arms over his chest and nodded for confirmation. "I'm surprised that he didn't wake you up." His arms broke loose and he rubbed with his right hand at the back of his neck. He was laughing.

With panic, the brown-haired began to rummage around in his papers. "Where are ... I have to give Reborn something!"

"Hahaha, if you mean that folder, Reborn already has it."

His hands stopped flying above the desk. "A-Ah ... ouh .. lucky me." He rubbed his eyes.

"Tsuna."

His gaze rose again and stared at Yamamoto. His usual grin was blown away and replaced by a frown and lips drawn to a line. "W-What is it?" Tsuna asked nervously. 

"Is everything ok?"

Tsuna began to laugh to cover his nervousness. "Of course everything is all right, why shouldn't it be so?" 

Yamamoto stepped into the room and closed the door behind him. "You're so exhausted lately ... You're pale Tsuna and have dark circles under your eyes. You look really sick ..." 

His strained shoulders loosened again and a gentle smile decorated Tsunas plump lips. "I'm fine, really, Yamamoto." He tried to calm his best friend, but that did not seem to work. 

However, Yamamoto seemed to leave it be and nodded, "You can talk to us all when something depresses you. After all, we're a family." A broad grin spread out again. 

"I know. Thanks." Then Tsuna supported his chin on his palm. "Is there any reason why you are here?"

The black-haired shook his head lightly. "Not really ... I just wanted to look after you."

"I'm fine," Tsuna repeated, trying not to sound tense. 

"Yes, I know, just for safety, Tsuna." He opened the door again and stepped out. "You never know ... and Tsuna." His head turned in Tsunas direction. "Be present at dinner, please."

"I will." The door closed and Tsuna was alone again.  
He hid his face behind his two palms, his elbows leaning against the desk. Softly, he groaned in his hands, which stifled his voice.  
Tsuna was like an open book. His family could read him with ease, even Ryohei and Lambo, he could no longer deceive them. Not since everything began to collapse into each other.  
_'Is it all over now?'_ He asked himself.

Cold arms snaked around his body. "You hurt me, Tsunayoshi, I'm here for you." 

Tsuna carefully touched the pale arms. They were almost white. "I know." 

The grip around his body tightened. "I'm the only person who really cares about you." 

He turned his head to the creature and looked into pitch-black eyes. The creature had taken the form of a woman. Smooth long black hair reached her hips and bangs hid her forehead. Her hair shone continuously. She looked like a porcelain doll with no flaws. The heart-shaped face, which had a snub nose. Milky smooth skin. Slightly red cheeks and full pink lips. 

"My family ... they're also worried." 

Her grip around him broke loose and she hovered around him. Slowly she sat down on his brown desk.  
She crossed her legs elegantly over each other and began to smoothen her white dress with her dainty hands. "Tsunayoshi ..." Her voice was high and sweet. With both hands, she gently held his face as he tried to lower his head. The two of them looked deeply into each others eyes. "Your family does not care like me, or they'd already know why you're doing so bad." With one hand she brushed his hair out of his eyes. "Right?" He nodded. "Right." she whispered. "It does not seem to interest them either, and they leave it to you when you tell them that you're fine, even though they know you're lying." 

The corners of his mouth twisted slightly, and his honey-colored eyes were showing his pain. "Do you really believe that?" 

She began to read through his paperwork scattered disorganized on his desk. "I do not believe it, I know it."

 

"How cruel ..." 

The black-haired figure dropped the bundle of paper and threw her arms into the air. This movement brought about a series of unordered objects to fly in the air, which slowly organized themselves. "Exactly, how cruel!" She lifted from the desk and hovered herself in the air again.

"Stop it ... if anyone comes in--" the door was torn open and slammed with full force against the wall. That there wasn't a hole in the wall was a miracle. Promptly the things that were still in the air were down. A short silence followed in the room. Tsuna looked at the open door.

Reborn stood there in his full splendor, skeptical eyeing the office. Then his eyes hung on Tsuna. "Who are you talking to." 

Tsuna stood up from his leather chair and laughed nervously. "With myself, Reborn." 

Reborn's eyes were narrowed, but he didn't say anything else.  
"You've been in here for a while, the others are waiting."

Honey-colored eyes looked at the clock.  
_'Ah ... since Yamamoto was here, thirty minutes have passed'_ , he thought, and ran his hand through his protruding hair. "Sorry ..." 

Reborn looked at Tsuna with a frown. His honey-brown eyes no longer radiated that warmth. The already so pale skin was now chalk-white. Dark eye circles. All the color escaped his face.  
At first Reborn thought it was due to fatigue. Maybe it was still too early for Tsuna to take the full responsibility as a Mafia boss. But that wasn't the case, right? Reborn knew something was wrong. But what?  
Reborn straightened his Fedora and turned on his heels. "Move your ass, Dame-Tsuna."

 _'Dame...'_ Tsuna drew slightly back. He shouldn't mind. Before everything happened, he didn't care. He knew it wasn't true. But now? Now he saw himself again as the no good Tsuna. 

"Tsuna!" 

He came back to consciousness and staggered behind the Hitman. "I-I'm coming!"

They walked along the corridor of the Vongola estate. Tsuna felt the creature pursue him step by step. Her presence made him tremble at first, but now she calmed him down. She was the only person-- could he call her a person? --who really understood him. She worried about him. 

Slowly he began to think that his family thought he was weak. Weak. Useless. Annoying. Superfluous. Deep inside, he knew it wasn't true. He couldn't help it, but why? When did he began to think like that? He couldn't remember. It was better. It made everything easier for him.

"TSUNA!" 

He flinched and stared at Reborn with wide-open eyes, who had stopped in the middle of the passage and turned to him. "W-What?" 

Reborn's face was grim. "Stop dreaming, where have you been with your thoughts lately?" 

The boy began to stutter, like a little child who was afraid to be blamed by his parents. "I-I'm sorry." Tsuna began to look through the area. Everywhere, just not at Reborn.

"Stop wasting time." The ex-Arcobaleno turned away from him with these words and continued his way to the stairs.  
It worried Reborn more and more, when Tsuna didn't answer his questions. He seemed to be somewhere else with his thoughts. His pupil was always attentive.  
But what annoyed him most was his gaze when he turned to him. As these lively eyes slowly darkened and the total opposite radiated. Reborn didn't want to admit it, but it frightened him-- yes, he can also be afraid.  
Not only Reborn noticed it. Slowly, it also troubled Tsunas Guardians and that justifiably.  
Gokudera told him how he often caught Tsuna talking to himself. When the right hand man confronted his boss, Tsuna suddenly became nervous and did everything to avoid the question.  
Also Yamamoto could observe that around Tsuna sometimes things began to float and it had nothing to do with Fuuta.  
Was Vongola at risk?  
Reborn looked briefly back as they walked down the stairs. His pupil was again with his thoughts elsewhere.

The two entered the dining room, which was exceptionally quiet.  
Each of the Vongola guards sat in their rightful place.  
At the end of the table, the place for Tsuna, had been kept free. To his right followed Gokudera's seat. On the left was Yamamoto. The two of them looked worriedly at Tsuna, who didn't seem to notice anything, and actually muttered to himself.

"Tsuna." Reborn said with his deep voice.

Thereupon Vongola Decimo raised his head, he looked confused through the hall and then smiled lightly. "I made you wait. I apologise." He said with a faint voice. 

Reborn massaged the bridge of his nose and sighed. "Sit down, Tsuna."  
The guardian's eyes followed every step Tsuna made to his place.  
Especially Chrome seemed to be scared. Inwardly, she struggled not to get up and embrace her boss. She wanted to comfort him, she was sure something was wrong with her beloved boss.  
Even Mukuro's sinister grin was replaced by concern.  
The illusionist reluctantly showed his feelings, but he realized that Tsuna needed every affection.  
Lambo sat quietly in his place and struggled with his tears. His older brother had a bad time and he couldn't do anything to help him. Gokudera told him clearly before the meal that he should remain calm. The storm guardian said this in a quiet tone, which was simply wrong. Gokudera was loud and cursed often. Of course, he was quite different when it came to Tsuna. But this only in Tsunas present and not in Lambos!  
Even if Lambo was still a child, even he noticed that everyone behaved differently ... almost everyone.  
Lambo looked inconspicuously at Hibari, who was at the other end of the table next to Reborn. He was as violent as ever.  
The arms were crossed over his chest and the cold look was directed at Tsuna. On the shoulder of him sat Hibird, who didn't even chirp, as she always did.  
But why did Hibari look at him like that?  
The two were still ... a couple.  
These thoughts were buzzing around Lambo's head all the time.

Tsuna sat slowly down and didn't dare to look at his guardians, at first. Then he rose his gaze and his eyes remained on Hibari.  
When you were attentive, you could see how he flinched slightly as their eyes met.  
Today everyone present in the room was attentive.  
Immediately, their eyes were directed to Hibari, who was obviously irritated.  
Especially Gokudera seemed to spread his hate throughout the room.

Behind Tsuna, the creature began to giggle, "Your guardians seem to realize there's something wrong between you two. Do you want that, Tsunayoshi?" Her cold hands touched his shoulders.

Did he want that? _'No.'_  
"What am I supposed to do?" He asked softly.

"Hmm ..." she hummed, while she thought. "What should you do?" She repeated. "Good question." She used his shoulders as a support and made a somersault in the air and landed on the table.  
No one noticed her. Only Tsuna perceived her. Perhaps he became truly insane.  
But her landing caused a slight gust of wind.  
So she couldn't be a hallucination, right?  
The gust of wind wasn't so gentle ... it was blowing napkins through the air and brought them to whirl around.

Lambo ducked and looked anxiously around the area. "G-ghosts!!"  
"Stupid cow, there are no ghosts!" Gokudera was clearly annoyed.

"Kufufu, you shouldn't be so sure." Mukuro looked through the room. "Hmm ... I don't feel any presences."

The creature giggled with her high pitched voice and hopped over to Mukuro. "Your mist guardian disappoints me." She was just about to touch Mukuro's cheek with her thin fingers. 

Tsuna jumped up immediately "Don't!" 

Her movement stopped. 

Everyone in the room looked at Tsuna. 

"Bossu?" Chrome asked uncertainly. 

"Jyūdaime, is everything all right?" Gokudera's hand touched his right shoulder. It was much warmer than the creature's one.

Now Tsuna noticed what he had just done. His family definitely thought that he was crazy.  
He began to stutter, shivering with nervousness. "I ... there was ... I'm .. I'm sorry." He freed himself from his best friend's hand and left the room with clumsy steps.

If only he had seen the creature's ugly grin ...

Lambo's wide opened eyes were moistened, following Tsunas's departure. "Tsuna ..." he said in a quiet voice. Chrome next to him put an arm around him and gave him a sad smile.

"Oi ..." Gokudera growled, his emerald eyes fixed on Hibari. "What did you do?!"

"Nothing," came Hibari's immediate short reply.

A fist collided with the mahogany table. "How can you remain so insensitive?!", Gokudera almost shouted. 

Yamamoto immediately rounded the table, on his way to his stubborn friend. "Gokudera, Tsuna will hear you, he doesn't want us to argue."

The creature didn't follow Tsuna. She wanted to be a spectator. Maybe Tsuna hated fighting, but she did not. She loved everything that darkened the soul. Disputes brought people apart. She lived for this thrilling experience. 

And now the Vongola famiglia catched her attention.

Physically, Tsuna was strong. But his soul ... was so fragile.  
Why had the sky his guardians? To protect him.  
Tsuna was loving ... too loving, for her taste.  
He hugged those who needed protection. But he needed the protection, not them.

It unsurprisingly soothed Gokudera, minimal, but it was a step forward. 

_"Poor Tsuna ... soon, not even Yamamoto can lead the others to the right path."_

"That was ... an extreme departure." Ryohei's voice did not echo through the hall.

Helpless. Each of them was simply helpless.

Meanwhile, Reborn was quietly cleaning his gun with one of the napkins. "Kyōya, I want answers." His eyes glared dangerously at the prefect.

"Hn." The polished gun was targeted in Hibari's direction, which didn't bother him. "I haven't got a clue."

"Hibari Kyōya, Tsuna's Cloud guardian, Tsuna's Lover, Tsuna's one and only." The creature said as she dangled her legs beside Hibari.  
"Unfortunately you can't see me. Every single one can't see me or hear me ... not yet." She jumped from the table and breathed into his ear.

It ran coldly down his spine. Confused and irritated, he looked around.

Gokudera watched this and made a clicking sound with his tongue "Crazy guy."

A menacing gaze hung on Gokudera. With a quick movement, Hibari reached for his tonfas hidden underneath his jacket. "I'll bite you to death."

Without hesitation, Gokudera took his dynamite. "Bite me." 

Thick air emerged between the two, but Reborn interfered directly with a shot at the ceiling.  
"Shut the fuck up. We have other problems at the moment."

Both put their dangerous weapons away without words. 

"Vongola could be at risk, and we don't know why."

The figure smiled dreadfully. "Indeed ... you know nothing." With these words she made her way to Vongola Decimo.


	3. Beginning

#####  **Disclaimer: I do not own Katekyou Hitman Reborn.**

 

Hibari Kyōya rarely smiled. Very rare.  
He didn't even smile in Tsuna's presence often. His feelings were always wrapped in a cold veil.  
So Tsuna wondered why?  
Why did Kyōya's eyes shine so much? Why did his otherwise cold face look so contented? What Tsuna saw there was clearly joy. Joy which he couldn't comprehend.  
Tsunayoshi didn't even think about it at first, but it happened more and more.  
Whenever Kyōya seemed to read a message on his mobile phone.  
It made him curious, but he didn't want to ask.  
That was none of his business, right?  
He shook his head. 

_"But you are still a couple. Of course it is your business. Why doesn't he share this joy with you?"_ Said a low voice far back in his subconscious.

He talked to himself in his mind since he could think, because it was normal to talk to yourself, right? To just think. But recently there was this voice ... which answered him. It always seemed to answer.  
This wasn't himself, he noted.  
Since Tsuna, however, had quite other worries, he no longer thought about it. It was unimportant at this point.  
Kyōya was more important to him.

 _"Perhaps he is deceiving you."_ That voice came always straight to the point and never held back.

Hibari Kyōya and cheating in one sentence? No. This wasn't possible. The Kyōya, who always cared that everything was in order and always kept to the rules? No.  
Immediately as Tsuna answered the statement, the voice seemed to retreat.  
Tsuna didn't want to worry about it. He probably over reacted. Like every time, according to his family. He thought too much. So long until he got a headache. It was unhealthy and he knew it.  
"Idiot idiot idiot!" He murmured softly.

 

Kyōya didn't want the others to know about their relationship --  
but he guessed that Reborn had already looked through them.  
Therefore, he couldn't and shouldn't let anything be noticed. It was enough that Reborn knew.  
_'For Kyōya.'_ He said to himself.

 

                                   ●●●

 

"Kyōya."

"Hn." He grunted as a response and showed thus his attention. The two laid together in bed. Kyōya had put an arm around Tsuna and pressed him protectively against his chest.

"Kyōya," Tsuna repeated softly. 

Blue-gray eyes stared at honey-colored eyes. "What?" 

Then Tsunayoshi smiled gently. "Nothing." 

His lover had a slightly confused and at the same time annoyed expression on his face. "You're annoying." 

Tsuna only laughed as a reply. "I know you don't mean it." 

A slight grin spread on Kyōya's face and butterflies began to flutter in Tsuna's stomach. The skylarks pale skin was illuminated by the moon and made him look gorgeous. "Oh, now you can read thoughts?" 

Petite arms snaked around Kyōya's body. "Maybe." Tsuna's eye contact was never interrupted. He looked at his lover with a warm smile. Then Kyōya pressed a gentle kiss on his forehead. At that moment, Tsuna wanted the time to stop. 

Eternal joy. 

Tsuna wanted that. With his beloved and his family. He hoped that they could continue to live peacefully, even if the mafia life was exhausting. He hoped for no further conflicts. Just silence.

\---

 _'But was it too much to ask?'_ Tsuna asked as he looked at Kyōya's retreating back, he left his office without a word. Their conversation was only about this annoying mafia work.

"So mean, Kyōya."

Everything was all right just a week ago.  
But now? Now everything seemed to change slowly. The kisses stopped bit by bit when the two were alone and even the hugs became fewer.  
_'Why?'_ Tsuna dropped back into his chair, rubbing his eyes tiringly.  
Not that Kyōya was mean to him. There was still some affection, but something changed ...  
_'Maybe it's only for a short time,'_ the mafia boss tried to persuade himself.

 _"You know it is not true,"_ whispered the soft voice in his head. 

His face twisted. He didn't want to believe it. "No." He said loudly to no one in particular. If Reborn was here, he'd think he was crazy.  
Tsuna smiled at the thought.  
Reborn thought for a long time that he wasn't quite normal in the head. But no one in the mafia world was really mentally healthy. He had to think of Mukuro. He was a good example. The illusionist seemed to be ... a bit ... more than a bit crazy in Tsunas eyes. And that guy rubbed it slowly on Chrome off. He frowned. He didn't like that. His sweet Chrome. But ... well, he would still accept the two because he loved them. These crazy sides also had something good. It was never boring with his family.  
Tsuna closed his eyes with a sigh.

He didn't notice that he was so tired ...

 

It was already dark when he opened his eyes. He straightened up and felt that his neck ached. "I fell asleep." He murmured, rubbing his eyes. With a yawn he pulled himself on his shaky legs, which tingled still a little. Carefully he groped his way through the room to the door and opened it.  
A bright yellow light appeared in the hall and blinded him. "Shit." He cursed softly, but immediately put a hand in front of his mouth.  
He hoped Reborn was not nearby, his ears were fucking sharp and especially his teacher hated when Tsuna cursed. 

He would punish him and tell him that he had 'a foul mouth'.  
But .. what the hell? Reborn cursed more than him. He said words he never knew!

No one really liked it when Tsuna cursed. Because he was still the 'innocent Tsuna' in the others eyes. Which was ridiculous. He was already 18 years old. 

He walked down the corridor of the mansion and wondered why none of his family members woke him up, to eat with them.  
The brunette went past many portraits. Oil on canvas painted pictures, from Primos Generation to Nonos.  
He stopped at the stairway and looked at Primo's huge portrait. His golden hair, which glimmered on his forehead because of the flame. The eyes, which had taken the color of a sunset. A slight smile decorated his thin lips and his legs were crossed over each other. It had something idealistic.  
Tsuna nodded his head with respect slightly and went down the stairs. He could hear loud voices as he approached the dining room. Even as he entered the room -- rather a big hall. No one at the table seemed to notice him, and continued to talk. Without saying a word, Tsuna sat down, at his rightful place. Only then the others began to notice him.

"Jyūdaime / Tsuna / Bossu."

He smiled. "Everyone."

"Where were you?" Hayato asked him first. 

Tsuna looked at his friend, slightly confused. "I was upstairs ... in my office."

"Oh, really ..." 

It was strange. It didn't bother the boy, but he was surprised that no one looked for him.

 _"You do not seem so important to them."_ The weird voice in his head always seemed to choose the right moments.

"Yes ..." Tsuna said after a long pause. It was rather an answer to the soft voice in his head, which no longer ceased to disappear.  
Hayato nodded once more, then turned away from him.

Tsuna had no sense of time and the dark sky proved that it was already late. "Have you already eaten?" He asked, but they didn't answer. So he cleared his throat loudly, which attracted the attention of the others. With a delicate smile, he repeated his question. 

"Ah, yes, we already have ... we thought you had already eaten since you weren't present, Bossu." Chrome replied, apologizing. "But we can keep you company while you're eating!" 

She was really sorry. His sweet, sweet Chrome.  
He had to smile because the voice in his head was wrong. How could he think for a second that his family wasn't worried? His family, who defended him for years and went through everything with him. How could he only think of himself? How could such a little thing make him so restless?  
Tsuna waved his hand, laughing slightly. "Alright, don't worry. It's not a big deal." This seemed to prevent her little panic breakout.

Whereupon Hayato used the silence to jump up and shout at a servant. He should 'move his ass and get food for his Jyūdaime'. Loud and lively as always. 

Tsuna continued to observe his family while eating. He was amused because Hayato and Lambo were again in an agitated argument, but he hoped it wouldn't escalate.

"How can you believe in aliens, but not in ghosts?" Lambo shouted at Hayato.

"Have you ever seen a ghost?" The Storm Guardian yelled back.

Lambo seemed to take a pause and think about what the person said on the other side. "No?"

A flat hand collided with the table. "There you go!"

Lambo was appalled. "You never saw an alien!"

"Tz, everyone should be aware that humans aren't the only creatures in this universe, scientists would confirm it, you imbecile." Hayato leaned back in his chair and stared at Lambo intensely.

"Then you can believe in spirits."

"No."

The little Lightning Guardian jumped from his seat and leaned on the table with both hands. "Why not?!" Tears gathered slowly at the edge of his eyes.

This alerted some in the room and as always Takeshi was the one who had to intervene. "Maa, maa. Let Tsuna eat peacefully." At Tsunas's mention both seemed to stop themselves.

Hayato jumped up in shock -- probably shocked by his own behavior -- and circled the table, to Tsuna. He threw himself to the ground, on his knees, the others could hear his forehead coming into contact with the tiled floor. "Jyūdaime, I apologise! It wasn't my intention to disturb you!" He straightened and turned his head so fast in Lambo's direction that the others were wondering why his neck didn't snap. "Lift your ass and come here to apologise!"

Tsuna stared at the silver haired for a brief moment with an open mouth, fork stuck in front of his mouth, hung in the air. Then he laid down the fork and laughed nervously. "A-Ah, Hayato ... you didn't bother me."

Hayato turned back to his boss. "Oh no, you don't have to lie!"

Tsuna tried again with an uncertain expression, but still a smile on his lips. "It's really all right, Hayato." He laughed -- something he often did nowadays. "You're ... funny, but please don't argue ... about ... such a thing."

Thick tears flowed Lambo's face down. "But they are also supernatural beings!"

"What are supernatural beings, Lambo?" Asked Ryouhei, who busied himself with folding napkins. 

Hayato groaned annoyed. "Just shut up, turf top."

Lambo answered the Sun Guardian's question with a sob. "Ghosts!" His voice was shrill and cracked at the end of the cry.

It slowly got out of control and who had to fix everything? Tsuna, of course.  
"A-Ah, Lambo, that's no reason to cry, it's all right if you believe in ghosts."

Lambo stared with red-rimmed eyes at his older brother. "Do you believe in ghosts?" He asked with hope.

Tsuna couldn't just destroy his hope, but he didn't want to lie ...  
"So ... I ... am afraid of ghosts?" It sounded more like a question.

"Do you believe in ghosts?" Repeated Lambo. His eyes were wide open and glazed. Like cute puppy eyes, in a cow t-shirt.

"I mean ... if there is something like illusions, and all the other stuff ... traveling into the future, dying will flames ... eh ... why not ghosts, right?" Said Tsuna with a satisfied smile because he could save himself and hopefully end the dispute as it were his words and Hayato wouldn't say anything against it.

He thought.

Still standing, Lambo pointed at Hayato with a reproachful finger. "Tsuna says it too, he believes in ghosts, if there is something like dying will flames, then also ghosts, it's logical!"

"What do you know about logic?" Hayato yelled, whose one eye twitched annoyed.

Perhaps they must honestly do something about his aggression, Tsuna thought.  
Another pet maybe? But cats hated him ...  
Maybe something else ...

Then Ryouhei, who was looking at one of his napkins, mingled again -- was that a flower? -- and raised his gaze and tilted his head. "But we have seen the First Generation also ... as ghosts."

It silenced Hayato. God bless you Ryouhei.

But!

"Kufufufu, how could you forget that, Hayato ~"

Tsuna wanted to smash his head against something. But instead, he had to watch Hayato shoving his hand into his pocket. Dynamite.

No.  
Please don't.  
No.

"Fuck off, pineapple head."

A wide tense grin seemed to spread on Mukuro's face. So wide that it looked painful. He wasn't amused. "What did you call me, Ha-ya-to?" He asked in a sweet voice.

"You understood that correctly, pine-apple-head."

And then everything went down the stream.

 

                                   ●●●

"I can't believe it. I've been away for a few hours and the whole room has been destroyed!" Reborn's eyes sparkled dangerously, but Tsuna could recognize something else ... was that joy? What a sadist. He had just waited to punish the others.

He had all but Chrome -- as she basically never destroyed anything, and Kyōya ... who refused to be in a room with the others for a while -- commanded to stand straight against the wall and walked slowly back and forth, with sharp eyes and a slight smirk.  
"Actually, it shouldn't surprise me any more." He continued with his speech. "After all, things being destroyed happens more often ... It has become an everyday occurrence, isn't it right, Tsuna?"

That frightened Tsuna and brought him then to groan inwardly. Why did Reborn only talk to him? Right, he was the boss here ... but he only noticed that when there were problems or work to do.  
" ... Yes .. unfortunately." 

The ex-Arcobaleno kicked a bunch of the destroyed wall bricks away, which laid in front of his expensive shoes, black and shiny. "More paperwork for you, Tsuna." 

This caused Tsuna to stare at Hayato, who was right next to him. The Storm Guardian hunched with guilty conscience. "Nothing new." Tsuna said calmly and with a smile.

"And what was the occasion of your dispute this time?" Reborn asked with patience.

The brown haired sighed. "Ghosts."

Reborn looked at him irritated. "What?"

"Spirits. The dispute as to whether spirits exist has triggered everything."

"It ended with an EXTREME fight!"

Reborn chuckled darkly "Here is some ... discipline needed." And thus pulled out his weapon. He approached his pupil with focused steps and pressed the pistol to his forehead, which caused Tsuna to tremble. Even after all these years, Reborn still managed to get him into a sweat eruption. "I-Isn't more paperwork enough punishment?"

"That would be too easy."

"But Re--"

The pistol went to Tsunas lips, which he could quickly close because he didn't want to have a damn pistol in his mouth. "Quiet." He let the pistol rest on his lips for a few more seconds, just for fun, then he turned away from him and looked back at everyone as he stepped a few steps back. "You can't behave that way forever."

"The Varia are much worse than us!" Hayato seemed to defend everyone ...

Reborn gave him a dark look because of the interruption. "The Varia are hopeless." And Hayato hunched even more, gaze on the floor.

"But ... it won't help anyway, because two people -- one of them isn't among us --" he gave Mukuro a quick look, who just smirked. "You can't control yourself .... Tsuna. "

"Y-Yes?!"

"Bring your boyfriend under control." He said dryly.

It made Tsuna flinch. "H-How." That wouldn't please Kyōya and at the time he was so cold to Tsuna. What should he do? He hoped that they won't ask him. But maybe ... it wouldn't interest him either ...

"Kufufufu, everyone here knows about your relationship."

"What does everyone know to the EXTREME?"

"You were wrong, pineapple head."

"Haven't you had enough, obedient puppy?"

"Say that again!" Hayato growled.

"You're an annoying puppy who licks even the shoe soles of his boss if he asked."

The two brought Tsuna even more to sweat. "M-Mukuro."

"Ah, here we have the guilty ones, you two will clean up this room." 

The Storm Guardian saluted obediently. Mukuro, on the other hand, grimaced. "Definitely not."

"I don't discuss with you."

"I don't accept any instructions."

Reborn's eyes narrowed and his pistol was now aimed at Mukuro. "I don't fucking care, do as I say."

"Kufufu, you're not scaring me."

It tugged slowly on Tsuna's patience. Couldn't he listen?

_"You do not have your guardians under control."_

He shook his head slightly.  
How could the short thought of Kyōya worsen his mood. It was all right, he only over reacted -- _again_.  
Everything was alright. _"Nothing is alright."_  
Everything was alright. _"No."_  
Everything. Was. Alright. _"No."_  
This couldn't be his hyper intuition that spoke.  
Kyōya wouldn't leave him. Tsuna knew that he was loved. _"Are you sure?"_  
He closed his eyes to calm down.

"You will obey me, Mukuro."

"Kufufu, make me."

_"Nothing under control."_

_"Nothing."_

_"Nothing."_

_"Nothing."_

It didn't stop to echo in his head. It made him insane!

_"Bring it under control."_

Tsuna snapped his eyes open. "Always, always, always! It's always the same, Mukuro. Can't you even do what you're told to?" He stepped from the line to glare at his guardian. "Do what you're told to. After all, you're to blame for this mess!"  
Everyone looked at him a little surprised, because it wasn't often that he reacted this way. Or rather never.

"Kufufu. What did I deserve this outburst for?"

"Do what Reborn said, Mukuro." Snapped Tsuna tensely. 

The illusionist's eyes became hard. "I don't like your behavior."

"My ... behaviour?"

_"Say something. He needs to be punished. He has to obey."_

For a brief moment, Decimo's eyes were fixed on Mukuro. Everyone in the room was silent and Reborn seemed amused and waited for his answer.  
Slowly he glanced at his teacher.  
Why was he so amused?  
Did he enjoy it?  
Why did the others look at him like that? Did he something wrong?  
His breath began to accelerate.  
Why?  
He couldn't think straight.

_"Are you scared?"_

Mukuro's cold dissimilar eyes burnt into him. He couldn't say anything. He tried to open his mouth, to say something, but he closed it again, looking like a dump fish. The boy was speechless and clueless, so he escaped.  
He could feel the eyes tracking him, he heard how Hayato called his name, but he didn't look back.

_"Why did you go? You can not run away from your life."_

Why did the voice appear at such moments?

It frightened him and he didn't know what to do.  
It wasn't helping him.


	4. Darkness

#####  **Disclaimer: I do not own Katekyou Hitman Reborn.**

 

_"Tsuna-nii." Lambo said as he tore the blades of grass out of the ground._

_The two of them sat on the porch of their house, in Namimori._

_"Hm?" Tsuna glanced from his book, in which he was absorbed. Reborn had once again given him the task to learn, but he did so voluntarily now, since he no longer wanted to be 'The Dame-Tsuna' -- and to be beaten by Reborn was a pain.  
The brunette had now completely focused his attention on Lambo and frowned in disapproval. "Hey, leave it, the grass didn't do anything to you, Mama will be angry when she sees this. You know exactly how she loves the garden."_

_Lambo flinched slightly, bringing his hand to freeze. He raised his head and looked apologetically at Tsuna. "M'sorry Tsuna-nii."_

_Then Tsunas's typical smile spread over his face. He was amazed that Lambo had changed in such a short time. Of course, he was still loud and greedy when it came to sweets or other things that he considered as his property, how children were, but Lambo began to see his mistakes when he did something wrong and apologized for it. It made Tsuna proud._

_Tsuna began to speak, Lambo still stared at him. "So, what did you want again?" The brunette tilted his head slightly to one side and smiled even further when a pleasant gust of wind ruffled his hair. It was unbearably warm today._

_"I wanted to ask you something." Lambo said shyly. Lambo was never really shy to him ..._

_"What is it?" He asked._

_"So ..." Lambo looked briefly into his little hands holding the blades of grass. "What's your favorite color?"_

_"Huh?"_

_Now, Lambo looked at Tsuna impatiently. "What's your favorite color, Tsuna-nii!"_

_"I thought you'd ask something important." Tsuna sighed. "But haven't you asked me that already? I don't know, a long time ago?"_

_Lamb's eyebrows wrinkled. "I've forgotten ..." He pouted now._

_"Is there a reason why you want to know my favorite color?" Tsuna simply knew that he was to something up._

_"N-No. I'm just curious."_

_"Curious."_

_Lambo nodded hastily. "Yes."_

_Tsuna turned his gaze to the sky and held his hand in front of his eyes to protect himself from the sun. "Hmm, I really like the color orange." He thought for a while and smiled gently. "I like the color purple, too. I like it a lot." He seemed to remember something._

_"Purple?" Repeated Lambo. "Ew, it's a girl's color!"_

_"It is?"_

_"Yes!"_

_"Does that mean I'm a girl now?"_

_"What? N-no."_

_Tsuna chuckled slightly, then locked Lambo in his arms. The young boy squeaked in surprise. He tried to free himself from his arms. "Tsuna-nii, it's too hot, let go!"_

_Tsuna pulled his little brother closer, to annoy him. He ruffled through Lambo's curly hair. "Do you love your big brother?" Whispered Tsuna._

_Lambo stopped struggling and twisted his head slightly to his brother. "No." he said dead serious._

_Playfully, Tsuna grimaced. "I'm hurt, you're so mean to me."_

_"Gahahahaha! Tsuna-nii must win Lambo-sama's love first!"_

_"Ehh, I thought I'd already won it for me."_

_Lambo continued his fidgeting. "No!"_

_Nevertheless, Tsuna didn't let go. "And how do I win it?"_

_The little black-haired boy thought for a moment. "Sweets, quite a lot of sweets, Ah, and you have to do everything I want!" Lambo giggled with excitement._

_"And then you'll like your brother?"_

_"Mhm, maybe."_

_"Maybe?"_

_"Probably."_

_Tsuna pouted now. "How mean, but ... I'll do my best."_

_Lambo stared at him with great, sparkling eyes. "I get candy?!"_

_Whereupon Tsuna pressed a kiss on his head and laughed as Lambo grimaced. "Yes, but I have to consider the: to-do-anything-you-want."_

_"Promised?"_

_"Promised, but don't eat all sweets at once!"_

_Lambo threw his arms in the air. "Yes!!"_

 

                                   ***

 

 _"You ran away!"_ A voice thundered in his head. It was that strange voice that didn't want to disappear. He didn't have any peace even in his sleep.

Tsuna whined as he slept. He often turned and never found the rest he really needed.  
   
He had been so exhausted, so he decided to go to bed early, even if he had paperwork to do. He didn't care at the very moment and Reborn would certainly understand.  
He felt so weak. So, so weak. So he lay in his huge bed and stared into the emptiness. In the empty darkness of his room. He couldn't fall asleep at first and thought about his deeds. Why was he so mean? He shouldn't have let his anger out on Mukuro.

 _"He deserved it,"_ the voice mingled again.

But no! His family member didn't deserve it! He's lashed out for no reason.  
This voice made him crazy. And it frightened him. So, so much. But he was a mafia boss. He had to stay strong, otherwise everything would be in imbalance. He could jeopardise Vongola, he _really_ was aware of it. He knew it would be only his fault. He didn't want to carry such a heavy responsibility on his shoulders. But he wasn't alone. His family would surely bear a part of his burden ... or was that too selfish? 

Why was he afraid of a voice? He had to face much worse things in his life. Just the thought of Xanxus or Byakuran made him tremble. Even though Byakuran was no longer a threat, Tsuna kept his distance. Just for safety.  
That person was kind of insane ...  
A small voice in his head was nothing. He tried to persuade himself over and over again. Since when was this voice present? He didn't know. It felt as if it had always been there.

He slept in his bed and dreamed of nothing but darkness. Voices and darkness. Nothing else. No memories, no pictures, nothing. Just this cursed voice. It was so, so gentle. Too soft. Even mean things it said sounded gently. It was creepy. Worse than Mukuro's creepy voice, which could sometimes sound so dangerous. Why did such an almost sweet voice drive him into a corner?

It didn't stop asking why he ran away. Why he couldn't bring anything under control. What could he have done? Mukuro didn't even want to listen to Reborn. What could he have done?!

_"Aren't you aware that Mukuro has executed alone your orders? He would fight for you. Just for you, because you are his sky."_

Only his orders?  
Wait ... tried the voice to cheer him up?

_"You're not alone, but if you go on like that you will be."_

Were there two voices? A good and an evil one?

_"It does not matter how you treat them, they will always be on your side, since you are their sky, you are holding Vongola together."_

But that didn't mean that he should treat his family like dirt.

_"But in the end they will hurt you, if you do not hurt them. ... Mukuro is just the beginning."_

No ...

_"That's why you should be cold, you can't have feelings in your Mafia life after all. Stay neutral, stay professional."_

Was he still awake? Suddenly he noticed how heavy his eyelids were. So he wasn't sleeping at all. He'd been awake all the time. He still couldn't fall asleep. But now he really seemed to dive into the darkness as his eyes closed. Tsuna felt his senses slow. Lastly, he could only hear the knocking at his door, and voices that cried after him as he dived into a sea full of darkness.

 

●●●

 

"He doesn't answer." Chrome said with a face full of despair.

The Guardians - including Reborn - were now sitting in one of the many living rooms of the mansion. The dining room would be closed for a while because of certain persons.  
Everyone in the room had spread and were sitting with tense together.

"Whose fault is that?" Spat Hayato and looked at Mukuro poisonously.

The illusionist's eyes became to slits, yet he had pulled his mouths upwards. "He attacked me verbally, not vice versa."

"Tz, you should have listened to Reborn from the beginning!"

"Tsunayoshi seems to be very dear to you."

"He's just as important to you." Said Hayato in a quiet voice, yet he sounded threatening. His face was serious. 

Mukuro folded his arms over his chest and turned away from Hayato.

Thereupon the two heard Reborn snort. "You behave like little children." Reborn was stretched out on an armchair, leaning back and legs on a small table. He took his fedora off and stroked now his Camelion, he clearly was bored. 

Mukuro glanced at Reborn. "I don't understand why we're sitting here at all."

"To give you a lesson." Reborn answered, but it wasn't his intention to move now.

At the other end of the room, Kyōya was leaning against the windowsill, watching attentively the conversation. His gaze was neutral and showed no emotions. He was very interested in why Tsuna lost his temper, it was unusual for the little sky. He hadn't seen Tsuna really angry for a long time.

"To put the dining room back in order is already a lesson enough." Gave Mukuro back, staring at Reborn with his unequal eyes.

"Oh, now you have decided to clean up?" Shouted Hayato.

Kyōya had to suppress a smirk. _'Tsunayoshi isn't important to you my ass'_ , he thought, but his face darkened as the thought came into his mind. He would make Mukuro stay away from the little Omnivore. _His Omnivore._

The illusionist grinned provocatively. "Shut it, little puppy." 

This statement brought Hayato's teeth to the crunch, he was ready to jump from his place and hit the guy into a pulp, but he paused when he heard how Lambo began to cry. Little crybaby. "Stop fighting, because of you-- ... Tsuna-nii doesn't want to be with us anymore!"

It brought Kyōya to sigh. This never came to an end, so he pushed himself off the windowsill and went to the door, with elegant and silent steps. 

"And where are you going?" Hayato growled furiously. 

"Mind your own business."

"Oi, stop!" 

And indeed, Kyōya stopped and gave the Storm Guardian a brief look. "If you care so much, herbivore. I'll go to Sawada." He said Tsunayoshi's name only in his present. He couldn't stand it when others took his name in his mouth -- his gaze wandered briefly to the pineapple head. Kyōya couldn't stand him and he was sure that these feelings were returned.

Mukuro thought it would be the perfect moment to provoke the Cloud Guardian. "You're going to comfort your sweet boyfriend?" 

Kyōya was almost at the door and wanted to leave the room, but he paused and reached for his tonfas, which were hidden under his jacket somewhere -- even now the most wondered where exactly these things came from. "You're getting on my nerves, herbivore." He would never recognize the illusionist as anything other than a herbivore.

Indigo colored smoke was already gathering and was materializing into a trident, but Chrome laid her hand gently on Mukuro's arm and looked at him pleadingly. "Please don't, Mukuro-sama."  
Everyone in the room knew that Mukuro had a weakness for his Chrome and she seemed to take advantage of it sometimes, but only for good deeds. 

Mukuro shook his head slightly. "I don't understand why you're making such a riot--"

"Aren't you the one who makes an insurrection right now?"

"--It was just a small fight. Tsunayoshi will return to his senses soon. " He smirked lightly and squinted at Kyōya, who now left the room without further words. "Maybe he just wants some attention."

"Shut the fuck up, bastard!" Shouted Hayato and Mukuro just shrugged.

Did it only occur to Lambo that Tsuna behaved strangely?

 

                                   ---

 

Kyōya pushed the door handle down and had expected the door to be locked, but that wasn't the case. Why didn't the others just go in, he asked himself -- probably not to disturb his privacy.

But he himself didn't know the word privacy when it came to Tsunayoshi. The boy was his damn boyfriend, of course, he would simply rush into his room.  
So he did what he thought was right and pushed the door open. The room was illuminated only by the light of the corridor and now it shone on Tsunayoshi's bed. Or should he call it his bed? He often stayed in this room after all ... but at the moment ...

He stepped into the bedroom and closed the door behind him with a soft 'click'. With cautious steps he went to the bed and stared down at a bundle that had himself curled into a blanket and slept quietly. He could only see messy brown hair and how his chest rose and fell.  
The Cloud Guardian sat on the edge of the bed and stretched out his arm to touch Tsunayoshi, his Tsunayoshi. But he paused. 

Maybe Tsunayoshi really wanted to rest. Should he let him sleep? He dropped his arm again after a long hesitation. He was just about to get up when he heard a whimper. His head turned to the sleeping person in seconds. Tsunayoshi didn't move though. He probably only imagined it.  
He himself needed sleep. 

And so he left the dark, dark room where his lover was tormented by a voice and couldn't call for help.

 

 

_Would the voice follow him forever?_


	5. Punishment

#####  **Disclaimer: I do not own Katekyou Hitman Reborn.**

 

_"I want to die." He spoke his thoughts aloud._

_"You just want to escape your problems." Said the voice that was always in his head._

_"Maybe I want that. Try to understand me." He said as he looked at the catastrophe. "Everyone hates me."_

_A cold body pressed against his back. He felt her head leaning against him. The two of them stood so close to each other, and yet he didn't hear a heartbeat. "It's not your fault."_

_He shook his head, biting his lower lip with such force that it began to break and he tasted blood. "But otherwise they wouldn't hate me!"_

_She clung to him. "They're not worth it."_

_He fought with the tears. He didn't want to be weak - not again. "I don't want to be alone, I love my family ... and the others, too ... but why ... why do they hate me all so much ... I didn't do anything ... That's a lie! ... LIE! " He tried to escape from her grasp. After a long struggle, he turned to her and stared into her eyes. Oh, how black they were. He could lose himself in her eyes. "Why doesn't anyone believe me?" He took a deep breath, too much air. "WHY?!"_

_Despite his outburst, the creature was quite calm. She seemed so ... composed. She didn't even flinch. "People betray each other, there are no exceptions. No one"_

_He licked the blood from his lips. "No one." He repeated.  
Flames continued to spread. Flames which were supposed to be his work. He stared at the mansion, which was swallowed up. "Why did they leave me alone ..." Now he let his tears free. He sobbed. "I want Kyōya." _

_The creature next to him rolled her eyes. "But he will not come."_

_The first time, really the first time he looked at the creature angrily. His eyes reflected the flames and looked much more dangerous. "You-_

 

She opened her eyes and stared into bewildered dark eyes. "Yuni, are you all right?" 

She hadn't had a vision for a long time. "Gamma." She took a breath to calm herself. 

"What happened?" Her faithful companion began to worry. Her eyes were wide open. 

"I have a bad feeling ..."

"What, are you sick, are you having a fever?" With concern, he put his hand on her forehead. "Your body temperature is normal ..." 

She shook her head and smiled slightly, flattered that he was so concerned about her. "No, I'm fine, that's not what I meant ... Vongola."

"Vongola?"

"Vongola is in danger, I feel it, but I don't know ... why ... there is a woman ..."

He looked at her slightly confused. "A woman? Bianchi? Chrome? Or these other girls ..."

The girl shook her head repeatedly, her face reflecting anxiety and fear. "No. I've never seen her before." For a moment, she let her gaze diverge. "We need to warn Vongola, I need to contact Reborn." 

Gamma nodded. "Do that."

 

                                       ●●●

 

_"You are weak."_

Tsuna stared at his reflection as he cleaned his teeth with the disgusting toothpaste. He looked terrible. As if he hadn't slept for days. Oh wait, he actually didn't. He couldn't and didn't want to. It frightened him. At night, in his dreams, the voice was much worse. He couldn't escape there. During the day he couldn't as well, but he could distract himself.  
He was trapped in dreams. Trapped in loud terrible scenarios, which probably had a reason which he couldn't interpret. Everything made no sense to him. Everything.  
Now he stood in his stifling bathroom and stared at his pale skin. Almost as white as the tiles, he could fuse with them, camouflage himself.  
He looked so sick. Maybe he was sick ... Or crazy.

_"Maybe you are."_

He ignored the voice and spat into the sink, rinsed his mouth, and wet his face with ice-cold water. It felt refreshing, but only for a few seconds.  
For a brief moment, he wondered ... would he feel the same when he drowned? Probably not. Drowning was one of the worst things you could die of. It was certainly agonizing. Burning was probably the worst ...

_"Again, you're trying to escape."_

"Shut up." He murmured, reaching for a soft towel. "What is wrong with me?" He asked himself. Was he cursed? Did he share the body with another person? Had someone in his family the same problem?

_"Perhaps Vongola is to blame."_

He paused and let the towel sink slowly. "What?" What does that mean?

_"Maybe it's your blood, you're the descendant of Vongola Primo."_

And that's why the voice was there?

_"Didn't you notice how many people were hurting you, or how you were dragged in something just because you were Vongola Decimo, you never had a choice, since your birth it was your destiny to fall into the abyss. I'm here-_

Suddenly he no longer saw himself in the reflection, but a black ... Something. A black mass with mouth and eyes. White empty holes. And it continued to speak.

_"... to assist you in your torment."_

It was the voice.

What?

What?

_What?!_

He closed his eyes. "You're not real, you're not real, I'm just dreaming!" Something cold touched him and he screamed in fright. "H-HIIIE!" Then he tore his eyes open and put his hand on his mouth. The black mass was just about to get out of the mirror. He staggered back and slipped on the towel he had dropped. When did he drop it? In seconds, he was on the ground, his butt hurt ..-- Oh God how it ached -- and stared at this black Something that had the shape of a body.

"Unfortunately you do not dream." Sang the ... creature almost. 

Oh my God, it stooped down to him. Two white holes stared at him. _Oh, holy shit,_ and it could blink. "W-What?" His whole body trembled.

The creepy angry-looking creature twisted its mouth. "Are you deaf, I'm real."

"No, no, no, no, that can't be!! M-Mukuro, come out, your games aren't funny!"

The black mass could actually sigh. "Mukuro is on a mission in France, already forgotten?"

"A-Ah ... exactly .. wait !! Then you're not an illusion ?! HIIIIE !!"

It grinned at him, it actually grinned at him and it had no teeth, only white emptiness! "I'm here to help you."

Tsuna looked at this .. Something skeptically and then frowned. "You didn't really help me these days. You made everything worse."  
The black mass laid -- should that be a hand? -- an equally black hand on his shoulder. He shrugged and hissed. "You're ice cold!"

The mass ignored it and continued to speak normally. "Tsunayoshi, I'm just trying to open your eyes." Then it slid its hand his shoulder down. He stared into its face. This emptiness in his face disturbed him, and the mass seemed to notice it. "You don't like my appearance?"

"I-I ... ... No ... it ... scares me."

It rose with a laugh and looked down at him. "Male or female?" It asked.

"What?"

"What do you prefer, male or female?"

"M-Male?"

It laughed again. "It's feminine then."

"What?"

Then he had to watch as the black mass slowly began to melt. Like black ink it flowed down to the ground, along the creature's body. And underneath was something pale hidden. Almost white. Skin. The creature slowly took shape and at the end stood a naked woman in front of him who was slightly taller than him, with long long black smooth hair. Immediately he closed his eyes and turned away from her. "P-Put something on!"

She laughed again, her laughter sounded like a beautiful melody, and he could hear wet footsteps approaching him. "Have you never seen a naked woman?" 

Arms lay around him and he flinched again. "I-I have!"

"Then there is no problem ~"

"There is!"

"Why?"

"K-Kyōya."

Then she moaned annoyed.

"He would certainly misunderstand it!"

She stroked his disheveled hair. "Well, he's probably no longer interested in you."

Tsuna held the air briefly and then left it with a heavy blow out again, while breathing a "What?" at the same moment and turned his head slowly to her. His honey-colored eyes were wide open, eyebrows raised. "What?" He repeated, 

and she sighed. "When was it the last time that he had embraced you at all, or just touched you ...?" His silence was an answer enough. "There you have it."

Tears gathered in his eyes. "I hate you." His lips were trembling and slowly his face began to color again, but only because he was crying.

"Why?" She asked, voice bored.

"Because you reminded me, I ... I've felt so bad, you're just making things worse." He murmured quietly and she had to try hard to understand him.

"You have to face the facts ... and I'll help you with it."

"But I don't want to." He sobbed.

"You're really hopeless-

"I know!!!" He almost cried, and his salty tears didn't stop, snot ran down his nose.

"Just look for a new partner-

"No!!" His eyes were fixed on the creature and stared at her angrily. "I love Kyōya, I ... I ..." His rage escaped his eyes again. "I don't want to lose him, no one ... Nobody can replace him."

Even if his lamentation got on her nerves, she remained calm. "Tsunayoshi ... didn't you lose him already a long time ago?" She said with a quiet voice and a sad look.

He said nothing more and was crying simply because he knew ... yes, he had lost Kyōya.  
"It hurts." His legs buckled and he fell to the ground.

She followed him and took him in her arms. "I know."

"I love him so much." He clung to her naked body.

She began to stroke through his brown hair. "I know."

"What is wrong with me?" Her touch was so gentle and loving.

"I know." She repeated.

His tears flowed on and on. "You don't listen to me at all!"

"I know."

"I hate you."

She giggled. "I know."

 

                                          ---

 

Still in his wrinkled sleeping things, he went down the stairs barefoot. The steps were cold, but not as cold as the creature, who was chasing him all the time, and it annoyed him. To use the bathroom alone was a struggle because she didn't want to leave him alone. _Why the fuck not?!_  
But ... After a long struggle he got at least some privacy.

When he had arrived at the bottom, he thought about food, but he lost his appetite. He was just about to turn around and climb the stairs again, but the now female creature stopped him. "Don't you want to eat?" She asked with her very bright voice and he tried not to stare at her, she was still naked. 

He stared at her almost white slender legs ... But never between her legs!! "N-no." He whispered and played with the buttons of his night shirt.

"Why not?" She stepped closer.

He ignored her question and turned away. "Please put something on" He said softly, so that no one could hear him. What would the others say when they saw him talking to a naked woman? "Please, the others will interpret everything wrong ... and then ... and then there are problems."

Then she laughed melodiously. "No one but you can see me."

Jerkily, he raised his eyes and cursed inwardly, she was still naked, _damn!_ "What?"

He closed his eyes and listened as she sighed. "Open your eyes, I'm dressed." She replied after a few seconds while he was still in the dark.

"Honestly?"

"Yes."

"You're really dressed?"

"Yes."

"I don't believe you."

She moaned loudly. "Tsunayoshi."

He turned away from her and finally made his way to the kitchen. To her triumph.

"Look at me." He could hear her footsteps.

"No."

"I am clothed!"

"Good for you, leave me alone!"

"The others will hear you, If you scream so loud." 

Now she walked at the same speed next to him and he tried not to give her a look, even if he could hear the rustling of her clothes. "I don't care."

"You do care."

This time he groaned. "Please leave me alone."

"Nah."

Why was the way to the kitchen so long? "You weren't so annoying in my head, I could supress you there."

"Rude, your mother certainly didn't raise you like that."

At the mention of his mother he stopped and turned his head slowly to her.  
It surprised her and that was rare. Never before had she seen this void in his eyes. She couldn't see any more emotions, which was simply not normal for him, because he was his family's light. A light that radiated warmth, security and love.  
But never, never emptiness and darkness. "Never mention my mother again." His cold voice made her shudder, and excited her at the same time.

Oh Yes, Tsunayoshi had aroused her interest. He was a little riddle that she wanted to solve .... and then ... destroy it so that no one had anything from him.

 

\---

 

It was true. No one could see them.  
Tsuna sat at the dining table with those already awake. Reborn (He was always one of the first who were awake in the house), Takeshi, Hayato ... -- Hayato was still sleeping according to Takeshi. He said that his right hand had a hard night ... he didn't know what that meant (The creature giggled next to him).  
Chrome and Mukuro also sat at the table. Lambo and Ryouhei liked to sleep all day, Tsuna decided after all the years.  
And Kyōya ... Kyōya was already awake, the brunette was sure, but he didn't know where he was. He probably had already eaten.

The creature could do whatever she wanted, no one noticed her. She danced around the table and hummed loudly a tune that Tsuna didn't know. They couldn't hear her. It was like she wasn't even there .. and he excluded her being an illusion of Mukuro, because he didn't even give her a glance and he wasn't amused (He was actually in a bad mood) or he was an extremely good actor ...

It came to the point that she hopped on the big dining table and continued dancing. Tsuna could observe that she could move objects. For once, she tipped over his glass of orange juice, with her foot. _"It was an accident,"_ she said, which he didn't believe her. This woman was evil, he knew it.

Luckily, the others thought he toppled it over. After all, he was clumsy. Reborn actually threatened him to clean the whole dining room if he didn't immediately remove the mess. Oh yes, Reborn was also evil.

Now the tenth boss of the Vongola family sat alone with the creature in the hall and wondered what she was and why she was there. Since when was she even there?  
She was the voice that was always in his head and now? Now this certain voice took shape and got on his nerves. She talked and talked. He finally wanted a break. He wanted to rest. He wanted to enjoy the silence he hadn't had, because of his loud family. He loved his family, of course he did, but he couldn't bear these loud noises. Sometimes he just wanted to retire and be alone. He couldn't do this for a long time.

"Tsunayoshi, listen to me!" She was still standing on the table with her bare feet, stamping her right foot on the wooden table. Even her pounding made noises and he was sure if the others were still sitting here, they wouldn't be able to see just how a slender, gorgeous woman, with a white long dress that always fluttered around her, and softened pitch black hair actually haunted the dining hall. It irritated him so much, it made him angry. Why could he see her? She didn't want to answer his questions. So he ignored her, even though it was extremely difficult.

"Tsunayoshi!" She stamped over to him. Even her voice was annoying. It was from the beginning, but now she was unbearable.  
He simply turned away from her without words and stared into nothingness.  
"I'm talking to you!"  
But he didn't even twitch. It brought the creature to sigh. She finally sat down and dangled her legs from the table. She stretched her dainty hand out and laid it on his head. He shrank slightly because he couldn't get used to their coldness, but otherwise he wouldn't move any further. She pursed her lips and stared at him. "Stop ignoring me, that hurts me." 

The brunette turned back to her slowly and blinked angry tears away. "You know ..." His shoulders rose as he was panting. "... how much I thought ... that I'm going insane, just because of you. My family probably thinks I'm sick in the head !!" He burst into tears, what he was doing frequently, wondering when he would finally use up his tears or why he didn't dry up. He lost so much liquid. "I couldn't even sleep ... and you say ... You want to help me, how?! Tell me how? How do you want to help me without making it worse?!"

Her shapely symmetrical eyebrows curled into wrinkles, yet a delicate smile lay on her plump lips. "I'm just trying to save you from your family."

He was outraged. "My family?!"

"I know it's hard to believe, but you have to trust me, they will betray you."

"My family never did anything to me !!" His voice lifted slowly 

and hers as well. "And why do you suffer so much? Certainly not because of me, you know exactly ... according to your mother- "

"Stop." He saw red.

"You can not hide forever!!"

"Stop, stop!" Tsuna rose from his chair. The first time he was bigger than her as he looked down at the woman. "Leave me alone for this one time, please, only today ... at least." And then he left the room. She didn't follow him for the first time. For the first time ... in a long time he could rest. No voice that made him crazy, no creature that haunted him. Just heavenly peace.  
Tsunayoshi didn't see Lambo standing next to the dining room door pressed to the wall, peering into the dining room when Tsunayoshi was far away. Lambo saw no one in the room. With whom did his big brother speak? Probably on the phone, Lambo tried to say to himself. But he had the feeling that it wasn't true ...

Should he tell Reborn? That Tsuna talked to himself?  
But ... it was strange ... why was Tsuna so angry? Could you get angry when you talked to yourself? It sounded like a proper conversation. Was that normal?  
He didn't know. He didnt know so many things in life. Adult people were a mystery to him. They were strange.

He didn't want an angry Tsuna. No matter why. He didn't want to see anger ... or pain, suffering ... grief.

When did Tsuna show a real smile at all? When was the last time that he saw real joy in his face?  
It was said that children were much more aware than adults and Lambo believed it now. The others thought it was just a phase. Was he the only one who saw that Tsuna needed help?  
Reborn noticed everything ... why not now?

Lambo suppressed his tears. Tsuna didn't deserve to suffer.

              
                                          ●●●

 

Tsuna wasn't as strong as he always pretended.  
He was fragile. Sensitive. Worried about what others thought about him. He couldn't stand it when others talked about him, gave him critical glances. They asked for things that he couldn't reach, but she still had to reach them somehow. 

Finally, he reached them after hard fights. From the bottom he worked himself up, just to please the others, to satisfy them.  
To calm them, so he had his peace, but it never stopped. Never. Each time they came with something new. Every time he was hurt a little bit more. And if he said what didn't please him, then he was ignored.

It felt as if everyone was against him, and only when he came home ... to his mother ... Only there did he feel really comfortable. Of course he felt comfortable when he was with Hayato, Takeshi ... the others -- Oh God, how safe he felt in Kyōya's presence -- But with his mother, it was just something different. He couldn't describe it. He just knew she was always behind his back. Even if he was in the Mafia. 

Yes. 

He told her about it and what shocked him was that she didn't even bat with an eyelash. She was quiet and smiled broadly, even when she had tears in her eyes.

After all, her little baby was always in danger. 

She told him that she was thinking of something similar, because she knew that her husband wasn't abroad just because of a normal company. She wasn't stupid. She felt that it was something dangerous and Tsuna confirmed it.

She was angry, but she didn't show it. His mother wasn't angry at her baby, but at her damned husband. That he involved their child into something dangerous. Tsuna told her that his father had no other choice and she shouldn't be angry, even if he understood it well. But he didn't want his parents to argue. Just because of him ...

Nana wondered for days if there was no other solution back then. It was unfair that Tsuna had so much responsibility at such a young age.  
The only thing she could do was to stand by his side when he needed consolation.

Nana was the one who stabilised him. The one who talked out his fears.  
Therefore ... as an unknown Mafia family assaulted his mother, while he was absent, a world collapsed for him.

This family knew that she was his weak spot and that of his father. 

She suffered a traumatic brain injury.

It was terrible when he found her. He was with his family back in Japan for a few weeks. Tsuna missed his hometown, even though he didn't have many memorable memories.  
For an hour, only for an hour, he was with the children outside. He wanted to spend time with them because he never had a break and had to deal with the Mafia life.

When he entered the quiet house and called for his mother, he didn't got an answer. She would have been at the door and would have welcomed him and the children happily.  
His hyper-intuition alerted him. It shrieked intolerably in his head, scratched the walls of his skull, his stomach turned around and at that moment he knew something was wrong. He asked the children to go outside to run away when it became dangerous. Of course, they asked questions. _'Why? What's happening?'_ But a sharp look from him silenced them. They went out without further disagreements.

He didn't even take off his sneakers and tried to enter the house as quietly as possible. A smell of burnt food reached his nostrils and brought his nose to wrinkle.

Arrived in the kitchen, he saw her, bleeding on the floor. Around her head was a great pool of blood. It left his mouth dry. His lung blocked. He snapped and snapped, but it brought nothing. He couldn't panic, he had to help her. He approached her with trembling steps and knelt down. He didn't know what to do.  
There was so much blood. 

Red, red, red and even more red.

Tsuna wished it was only a bad dream. _'Wake up, wake up, wake up!'_ He shouted inwardly to himself, but it wasn't a dream, it was reality.  
Carefully, he leaned down to her, right above her face, just a few inches from her. He felt her breath, even if it was weak. _'Thank God,'_ he thought. _'She isn't dead'._  
Tsuna trembled as crazy as he fished his mobile phone from his pocket. Slowly and cautiously, so that he couldn't make a mistake, he pushed the buttons and called the ambulance.  
Everything passed in a slow motion. He had to watch as his mother was carried on a stretcher. There were curious neighbors outside to see what was going on. So he wondered ... had no one ever noticed or heard something?

Later in the hospital, he was told that she had resisted. A light smile appeared on his lips. Of course she would defend herself, his mother was a strong woman.  
But if there was a fight ... they should have heard something.  
He was quite sure his neighbors were just ignorant.

It made him angry. Furious at the people out there who just ignored everything. He was mad at himself because he wasn't there to protect her. It was his fault that she was attacked. His fault alone. If he weren't Vongola Decimo, she would cook happily in the kitchen. She would hum songs and greet him with a smile.

From this moment on, he hated his title as Vongola Decimo. It made him sick. And when he was told in the hospital that his beloved mother was in a coma, he hated himself and the mafia world much more.  
He locked himself completely up. Snapped at his family when he was annoyed. Had always anger outbursts ... and anger outbreaks combined with Hibari Kyōya weren't good. They quarreled and quarreled.

Then there were moments when he would just cry.  
He felt alone. Left from the whole world. Kyōya didn't support him. That's why he withdrew completely.

He was alone.

All alone.

Alone.

Alone.

He stopped eating and lost weight. How could he eat all this delicious food when his mother was in the hospital and had to suffer. That wasn't right. He felt sick when he ate. He couldn't sleep either. His life became a gray world, he felt no more joy.

Day in, day out he sat at his mother's bed and hoped that she would finally wake up. But nothing changed. Her outer wounds healed, but she never opened her eyes till this day. His father had already lost hope, but Tsuna didn't. Never.  
He went to visit her when everyone else didn't. They just stopped. How could they? He couldn't forgive them. 

He kept clinging to the hope that she would smile at him one day.

 

Ah ... now it occurred to him again ... that at that time the voice appeared.  
Maybe he was sick.

 

Right?

Was all this his punishment?

His mother didn't deserve this. He should have been lying in this hospital bed, instead of his mother. Connected to loud monitors, in a coma where he didn't notice anything ... that sounded good. He didn't want to feel. An eternal sleep sounded good. Couldn't he swap with his mother? He was alone anyway ...  
Without him, his mother wouldn't be in danger. 

Perhaps the distance between him and Kyōya was getting bigger and bigger, because Tsuna was exhaustive and annoying.

When was the last time he talked to Kyōya? 

They no longer talked to each other.

Tsuna was hurt. However, he couldn't let go of Kyōya. He would never leave his lover to someone else.

_Never._


	6. Blurry, Pt One

#####  **Disclaimer: I do not own Katekyou Hitman Reborn.**  

 

_"Caught in a soul."_

 

 

Yuni lost no more time after her vision. For she had a bad feeling, and from day to day this feeling grew worse the longer she waited. It hurt her already. That's why she was, alone with Gamma, on the way to Reborn.  
Without registration, she entered the mansion, which was unusually empty. Gamma was right behind her.

She knew where Reborn was, she was often enough here.  
As she opened the door to Reborn's own room, she found him on his black leather sofa, with a cup of espresso in his hand. His sparkling eyes rose and stared at her for long seconds without blinking. His everyday grin was blown away. For he knew, because of her presence, that something was wrong.  
His once relaxed body stiffened. He leaned forward to place the cup on the small table in front of his legs. "Yuni." He said with a somber undertone. "What gives me the honor to speak to you today." He didn't want to know.

"Uncle Reborn." The girl greeted him with a big smile, but her deep blue eyes radiated something quite different. The opposite of joy.  
Gamma closed the door behind him as the two entered the room completely. He stopped at the door as Yuni joined Reborn. 

"I guess .. it's something important." He gave an exhausted sigh, for there was never rest. 

She nodded, blue eyes looked at him sadly. "Tsuna ..."

This time the ex-Arcobaleno couldn't suppress a groan. He rubbed the bridge of his nose with thumb and index finger, showing how exhausted he really was. "All this has no end." He said, showing Yuni his real emotions. "It's shocking that it comes from me ... but Tsuna needs his rest."  
A variety of emotions arouse in Reborn's eyes. Yuni had never seen her uncle Reborn like this.

Then she realized how important Tsuna really was for Reborn. A smile spread on her pink lips. "You really love Tsuna."

His black eyes were focused on Yuni as he gave a dry, short laugh. "I'm not heartless, after all, he's my student."

"Favorite student." She corrected him amused.

"Maybe." But both knew that it wasn't just a _'maybe'._

This little moment of serenity disappeared quickly as Reborn came back to the subject. "So, what is wrong?" His lips were tightly pressed into a line, so firm that they already had a slight white undertone.

The girl looked briefly at Gamma, who nodded. Then she lowered her eyes to the ground and folded her little hands, fingers nervously entwined. "I had a vision ..." She was tense. "I don't know what it means, but I think ... that Tsuna. No, Vongola will soon be in danger, or ... maybe you are already ...  
And when Vongola is in danger we'll all be in danger. " Her head rose and she stared at Reborn with a determined look. "After all, we're all connected and we will help each other. I'm sure Byakuran would be the same opinion and the Simon Familiga as well ... and we don't need to talk about the Varia. Even they will help. You're not alone ..." Her seriousness escaped her again and she giggled softly. "You may already know it, but ... I just wanted to make sure that you know, that you're not alone ... And ... And ... Tsuna doesn't deserve to suffer ... no one deserves it. I don't know what will happen, Reborn ..." Yuni took a deep breath. "A woman."

Reborn looked at her calmly and waited, but he still laid his big hand on her head to stroke through her smooth hair. "A woman." He repeated, nudged her to continue.

"It's a woman, a woman will show up and create chaos." 

Reborn's movement stopped and his eyes hardened. "What does she look like?"

And then Yuni began to describe the woman as good as possible. Even if she saw this woman only for a glimpse.  
Yuni had a good memory.

However, there was this one question ... this one question that scared her terribly. The question whether they were perhaps already too late.

 

_"Caught in my body."_

 

The creature watched Tsunayoshi attentively as he slept. He looked relaxed and peaceful. No age or stress wrinkles to see when he slept. But this was soon to change.  
The female creature chuckled softly.  
A giggle should sound innocent and bright. A tone of happiness. However, her's would give goosebumps to everyone. Her's too was bright, but not innocent. It was also meant for joy, but her joy was quite different. It wasn't normal. She thought it was exciting to see him suffer. Watching as her little Tsunayoshi slowly broke from the inside and became crazy .... _'ah ~ the thought alone makes my whole body tingle'_ Her almost white arms embraced her own body.  
She got very hot. It turned her on. "How exciting." She giggled, suppressed an evil laughter. She didn't want to wake Tsunayoshi.

With gentle movements, she crawled over to Tsunayoshi, who was lying in the middle of his king size bed, almost bending over him. Her face as close as never before. So close that she felt his calm warm breath.

Her goal was to stop this soon.

The taste of death was close.  
"How exciting."  
She wanted to usurp everything.

 

 

_"Helpless, I'm reaching out"_

 

 

Hayato entered with quiet steps his boss' room.

He didn't see Tsuna all day long. But was it really only today? It seemed much longer ...

Tsuna's room was dark -as usual- and he had nestled himself in a jumble of blankets and pillows. He laid there motionless, no finger moved. Even the inhaling and exhaling was mild.  
Beside Tsuna's bed stood a small bedside lamp, which Hayato turned on with the hope that Tsuna would wake by the brightness, however, this wasn't the case. Not even his eyes twitched. He continued to sleep peacefully.  
"Jyūdaime." The Storm Guardian whispered, touching the shoulder of the dormant, but he didn't get a reaction. "Jyūdaime, you can't sleep all day." Now he nudged him. Again no reaction, only a deep inhaling and exhaling. "Jyūdaime?" Was he so tired that he was in a deep sleep?  
With a sigh, Hayato left the room again without turning the little light off.

If he had paid more attention to Tsuna's appearance, he would have realized that something was wrong.  
The thought that Tsuna was often asleep and absent escaped him.

The creature giggled while she was attached to Tsuna with arms and legs. "You have stupid and ignorant friends, Tsunayoshi darling." She rubbed her ice-cold cheek against Tsuna's warm one. "Do not worry, soon everything will be different."

More and more darkness engulfed him. Her darkness.  
"I will save you."

 

_"Lost."_

 

"Where's Dame-Tsuna?" Heard Hayato directly as he entered the now set up dining hall. It made him flinch, but he entered the room anyway and closed the door behind him.  
He went to his place with heavy steps and fell into his chair. "In his room."

With dissatisfaction, Reborn's face expression darkened.

Just the aura that the hitman emit brought Hayato to shudder and he realized what his response was and to whom he answered. "Excuse me, Reborn-san." He murmured softly, staring at his plate full of food. "Jyūdaime is sleeping now, he probably worked through the night again." All the eyes of the guardians were pointed at him.

"You had to wake him up." Stressed Reborn.

Hayato's hand reached for his glass of water, just to hold and feel something at that moment. "I know, but he didn't wake up, so I thought I'd let him sleep."

"Kufufu. Maybe Tsunayoshi did something quite different at night." Mukuro squinted to the right side where a certain person was sitting, distorting his food without words.

"Mukuro-sama, please not now." Chrome's gentle voice sounded tense. Her fingers creased her pencil skirt.

Apologetic, Mukuro put his hand on her tense one. This was followed by the fact that she was blushing and lowered her gaze.

The silver-haired man cleared his throat briefly and continued to speak. "Anyway, what did you want to talk to us, Reborn-san."

The mood immediately changed into seriousness and tension.  
For several seconds it remained silent and Reborn looked at each one.

Chrome with her worried look.

Mukuro's frightening grin, but his eyes had been formed into menacing slits. His fingers drummed impatiently on the dining table.

Takeshi's cheerful smile completely disappeared. Back straight.

Ryouhei's unusual silence.

Lambo's moistened eyes and how he chewed nervously on his lower lip.

Hayato's eyebrows drawn together, stress clearly readable.

And last but not least, Kyōya. His hard look was directed at Reborn. Lips pressed to a line, with great force. In his hands a cup of tea, threatened to break.

Everyone knew it had something to do with Tsuna.

Sometimes, the eyes tell you more than thousand words.

 

 

_"I'm waiting."_

 

 

"The time is ticking, Tsunayoshi."  
His entire face twisted.  
"Tick tock, Tick tock." Her voice echoed in his ears and never seemed to end.  
He wanted to open his eyes, but he was so tired. As tired as never before. He was aware that he had to get up, but he couldn't find the strength. After all, he had to satisfy his needs. His stomach felt empty. When did he last eat?

"Sleep on, Tsunayoshi." Cold lips touched his forehead.

And the darkness spread again.

 

 

_"Deep inside it is buried -_

_It doesn't belong to me,_

_But now she is a part of me._

_Like a shadow -_

_I'm waiting in the dark._

_Find me._

_It calls, cries to reach you,_

_But you didn't come._

_Abandoned ..._

 

The next morning, Kyōya entered the room of his lover, a tray in his hand with treats that Tsunayoshi loved.  
His bedside lamp illuminated a small part of his neat room. The curtains were still closed, giving sunlight no chance.

With only a few large steps he stood at the edge of the bed and carefully set the tray on the nightstand. "Tsunayoshi." His deep voice broke through the silence, but Tsuna didn't answer. Not the smallest reaction.  
His one knee propped up on the mattress, while Kyōya leaned over the sleeping person, to look at him. He gasped in shock.  
Tsunayoshi was pale. As pale as sick people who were just about to die or even corpses that Kyōya had to see so often. Beneath the eyes were deep bluish eye bags.

 

_Tell me,_

 

His own eyes widened. "Tsunayoshi."  
Immediately, he cupped Tsuna's face with both hands. He was warm. "Tsuna." His hands slid to the shoulders and shook the motionless body. "Tsuna!" He hissed, even though he was worried and afraid.  
"I'm biting you to death if you don't open your eyes this instant. Omnivore!"

And indeed these eyes opened. Eyes blinking away the sleep and slowly analyzing the environment. Eyes that were disturbingly empty.

 

 

  _Between darkness and light, where do I belong?"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it ^-^
> 
> And I apologise again, English isn't my language .. ~


	7. Blurry, Pt Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh, I'm so sorry

#####  **Disclaimer: I do not own Katekyou Hitman Reborn.**

 

He was in an endless black tunnel. It was just so dark that he could see how high walls surrounded him.  
A cold wind came towards him and made whining noises. Where the wind came from and if there was an opening to escape, he didn't know. The only thing he was aware of ...

 

He was alone.

"Don't be scared, Tsuna, you should be used to being alone." He spoke to himself, hugging himself and rubbing his arms warm to escape the coldness.  
He stepped deeper and deeper into the darkness. He was shaking with fear, but he tried to lie to himself. Therefore, the cold atmosphere was at fault. After all, in the past he had to overcome much worse and darker things. Such a cold, empty passage was nothing. 

It was an unpleasant silence, If you forgot the eerie whining sounds. He could hear his own heartbeats in his ears, it was literally pounding on his drum fields. Louder and louder. Until he began to believe that his head was about to burst. All the blood he heard rushing was certainly not a good sign, it made him nervous.

With blind steps he stepped further into the darkness, hoping to find a way out. At least a small beam of light that would lead outside. Tsuna didn't like the darkness and he would never like it. He wondered who might even like the darkness - Mukuro probably. _'No.'_ He shook his head, not even his illusionist would like the darkness, right? It gave one the feeling of loneliness. Was Mukuro lonely? He pushed those thoughts far back to remember later. So he could change that, if it was the case. Nobody in his family should feel lonely. He knew that feeling too well. It was a terrible feeling.

 

For a long time, he just walked straight into nothing.  
There was really nothing here. Only dark walls. Not even lamps.  
Every step, every movement was much louder in this place. Even the rustling of his clothes, the rubbing of his jeans, each stumble.  
He was scared, so scared. 

He even wished for a tiny little moment, that the female, eerie creature - even if she looked beautiful, in his eyes she was just scary - was with him, keeping him company. But he let this thought disappear very quickly because it would make everything just unpleasant. She only wanted bad things, he was sure.  
He pictured her cold arms, which often closed around his body and made him tremble, a worse shiver than now. Despite her coldness, her skin was silky soft. Her almost white skin ...  
She was so pale, abnormally pale. As if a disease had sneaked under her unnatural skin.  
He had the impression that his own skin slowly took on this color. Whatever she had, it infected him.

More fear came over him. Why did he think about this creature in such a moment? It was scary enough in this place.  
His confused thoughts didn't stop whirling in his head. He had to distract himself and fast, but .. how?  
There was nothing to distract him here. The darkness didn't seem to disappear. Maybe there really was no way out and he would be stuck in here forever.  
Uneasiness spread more and more in him, with every step, with every breath. Everything became harder for him.  
"Reborn, where are you?" He muttered.  
Reborn was always there.  
Reborn would hammer the sense right back into his head.  
Reborn would even comfort him in his own way. His presence alone would comfort Tsuna.

The fear didn't disappear. He was afraid, afraid, afraid.  
His body didn't stop shaking. It was cold, cold, cold.  
"Help"  
His voice was so quiet.  
"Why doesn't anyone hear me?"

_"You are too quiet Tsunayoshi."_ Breathed a voice, like the wind, in his ear.

"What?" He whirled around, but there was nothing.  
Nothing.  
The creature?  
"Where are you?!" He asked in panic.

_"Oh, you can speak louder."_ It chuckled. But it sounded so deep, so familiar. But he couldn't put a finger on it. Not yet.  
Where did the voice come from?

"Is it you? ..." how should he call her? "C-creature?"

_"Keep running Tsunayoshi."_ A cold wind blew and forced him to move forward. _"Follow my voice."_ The voice was male.  
_"Tsunaaaaa."_  
That voice was supposed to reassure him, but something evil hid behind it.  
Tsuna swallowed the big lump of fear and tried not to whimper, he had to pull himself together.

_'Make Reborn proud,'_ he thought. _'If he saw you like this, Tsuna ... he would end you.'_

He could do it, after all, he was a mafia boss. _'Unintentionally.'_  
If he couldn't overcome this, what would he be? _'Useless. A scaredy-cat. Useless. Useless. Useless.'_  
It didn't stop whirling in his thoughts.  
Since when did he think so negative?

He tried to suppress his sobbing. The darkness was doing very bad things with him. That's why he shouldn't stay alone for so long. It drove him crazy. But what made him more crazy, the loneliness ... or the darkness?  
He seemed to be lost in his thoughts. It stopped him. Paralyzed, he stared into the darkness.  
Then he literally felt the sigh of the wind beside his ear. _"Useless."_ It murmured and he flinched.

Parts of the wall began to melt into each other right next to him. A black thick liquid substance began to accumulate. Like a black puddle of oil.  
Startled, he stepped back as it slowly flowed towards him. Tsuna expected the creature to rise from the substance at any moment, but nothing moved. It stopped flowing when it nearly touched the peak of his shoes.  
His gaze followed the puddle to the very beginning, whence it came and dripped off the wall. Before him was not a big hole that should lead to nowhere, because what should there be? No, there was a big door. It was white. So glaring and a huge contrast in this darkness.  
The black liquid still trickled down and stained it. The door wasn't clean. Just like him. He wasn't pure. Dark thoughts ruined him--  
He shook his head. _'I have to stop it.'_

It was probably stupid of him to enter or even touch this door. Even if it was a normal white. It radiated danger.  
And the black liquid didn't give him a good feeling, but what else should he do? Stand here and drag himself down with those negative thoughts? No.

With some determination, Tsuna was already standing in front of the white door and grabbing the doorknob (he had to disgustedly discover what it was also covered with the black substance), then he carefully turned the doorknob and pushed against the wooden door. The door opened with a loud squeal.  
Immediately he was blinded by an aggressive light. He held his soiled hand over his eyes to relieve the pain.  
_'Great,'_ he thought, _'first it was just darkness and now a white nothing?'_  
But the brown-haired boy was wrong. When he finally stepped through the door, which fell with a bang into the lock, he was in a garden. But not any garden. He knew it so well he could have walked around blind.  
He was back at home, back in Namimori. But why?  
Was there a specific reason that he was led here?

His honey-colored orbs wandered to the blue sky. There wasn't a single cloud to see, and the sun was laughing at him with its warm beams.

It didn't seem unusual (except that a few minutes ago he was in a grim, cold, dark place and a damn wall collapsed and appeared as a door out of thin air.) There seemed to be a lot of thinks that came out of nowhere lately. 

Birds communicated in the trees and the wind created a cool but pleasant breeze.  
It was a huge contrast between those two places.

He should be careful, he warned himself, but what should he be worried about? His home was the only place where he felt comfortable ... It was his only retreat. Well ... Now it was no longer lively in this house and sometimes he could smell the metallic stench of blood.

Finally he entered the garden terrace, but not before he took off his shoes.  
With muffled steps he opened the glass sliding door and entered the house, which was brightly lit by the sun.  
The first thing he heard was the splash of a tap.  
Deeper in the house he could hear a faint hum. His heart was racing with excitement. He knew that voice, he loved it.  
It came from the kitchen.

Excited, he ran out of the living room, into the hall and deeper into the house.  
He couldn't believe it. She was here. She was really here.  
Maybe this was the real world and all the negative happenings were just a bad dream. He wanted to believe in that, because he heard her lovely voice which he missed so much.  
He stood in the kitchen entrance only in a few seconds, and he could see the back of his mother. Finally.  
He watched as she happily rummaged through the fridge. She was probably looking for certain ingredients.  
Her hum developed into a gentle singing.  
It was a song that he heard so often as a child that he already knew it inside out.

 

_"Wise men say_

_Only fools rush in_

_But I can not help falling in love with you-_

His mother told him then, when he asked why she always sang that song, that it reminded her of his father. Her beloved husband.  
It was her favorite song that contained many wonderful memories, she told him happily with rosy cheeks.

_Shall I stay?_

_Would it be a sin?_

_If I can not help falling in love with you-_

It brought tears to his eyes.  
It really was her.  
His mother.

_Like a river, certainly to the sea_

_Darling so it goes, some things are meant to be_

Tsuna closed his eyes and listened to her with a smile. Because he wanted it to never stop. He wanted to cherish such moments and never forget them.

_Take my hand_

_Take my whole life too_

"Mom." It slipped out of him without even realizing it. His honey colored eyes opened jerkily again.

_For I- "_

 

Nana stopped her singing and slowly turned to her son.  
Her mouth formed an 'o' while her dark eyes widened slightly. "Tsu-kun." She said in her high voice.

Tsuna didn't know if he should laugh or cry.  
"It really is you." He muttered, nearly collapsing.  
"Mom." He repeated. Tears immediately began to roll over his slightly tanned cheeks. But a broad smile covered his face and made him shine, again for a long time.  
If just the others could see him like this.

Nana responded with a gentle smile and spread her tender arms, knowing exactly what her son needed. And Tsuna couldn't let this opportunity escape under no circumstances.  
With only two steps, he was at her side, wrapped in her arms. He could pick up her sweet smell in his nose. No longer did she smell like hospital. This could only be real. Right?  
Because she was here. He could feel her warmth. Smell her scent.

This was the reality.  
There was no one here who wanted to take his mother.  
It was peaceful here.  
Too good to be true ...

 

"Mom, is it really you?" He wanted to break away from her, but she didn't let go. Since when was his mother so strong?

She giggled. "Of course, Tsu-kun, who else?"

Tsuna shook his head slightly, her hair tickling his neck. "You were in the hospital." Just thinking about it, increased his tears. "I've missed you."

Slowly, she started to stroke his messy hair. "I know ... my sweet boy." Nana took a deep breath and broke away from him. "Tsuna, listen to me." Her gentle gaze hardened. Tsuna rarely saw his mother this way.  
She grabbed his shoulders so he wouldn't lose his attention. "This is not real-

What?

"I'm still-"

No. No. No. He didn't want to hear her.

"No!" He released himself from her iron grip and stumbled backwards. "Mom." The tears didn't stop now. "Please don't say this, this is real, you're real, you're not ... no--" His voice broke miserably. He was sure his salty tears were mixing with the snot of his nose. "Not half dead." He finished. "Mom ..."

Nana watched as her desperate son's face flush red, it slowly reached his neck. "Tsu-kun ..." She wanted to approach him, take him in his arms, but she paused as he moved farther and farther from her.  
"Please listen to me ..." she almost pleaded. "We don't have much time."

"No." Her boy replied in a hoarse voice.

"You can't run away forever, Tsu-kun."

"Run away?" With his sweater he wiped the snot from his face. "From what?" Reborn would laugh at him, if he saw Tsuna like that.

"Your responsibilities." Her eyes were extremely sad, sadder than ever.

"My ... responsibilities, no, no, Mom, you ought to know best ... how much I hate being in the mafia, that's why you're--" He stopped himself and stared angry at the ground. He couldn't look into her big mourning eyes. "I want to be with you, Mom. I miss you."

"I know, I know that."

Finally, he let himself be touched by his mother again. She cupped his face with her warm hands and began to wipe away his tears. "I know it's hard for you, but listen carefully now. Do you hear, Tsuna?" Her stern tone made him nod, but before she could even breath, the lights above them began to flicker. Only then did Tsuna realize how dark it was outside. It was pitch black. The sun was swallowed up by the darkness. This wasn't a normal night.

"Mom, what's going on here?" He asked as he turned his gaze back to Nana. With shock he had to watch as his mother was frozen. Her mouth still open, her eyes wide with panic. "Mom?" Even the shaking of her shoulders didn't do anything, she felt abnormally stiff, and the panic seized him again. "What happens here?!" The hands that still clasped his face fell lifeless to their fair places.

The walls around the two began to collapse, as he had seen before. Bright creamy walls turned into a deep black, like slime.  
Slowly, it began to touch the ground, and he watched as it ate through the tiles. "I have to get out of here ... Mom !!!", but she still didn't move. Even pulling her arms didn't work. She was like stone. "No, no, no." He didn't want to leave her behind. "Wake up, we have to get out of here!"  
Huge gaps were created in just a few seconds, but the way to the corridor and then out was still free, and the emphasis was on 'still'.  
Tsuna embraced his mother's body with his arms and tried hard to get her off the ground, but nothing happened. Why wasn't he strong enough?!  
His father would never forgive him if he left Nana here. Nobody would forgive him. Everyone would hate him, even more than before.

His eyes were burning with all the tears and he was aware of how they now had to look, red and swollen. But that was his last concern.  
"Mom, Mom, Mom!" He repeated infinitely to somehow reach her.  
He didn't want to leave her.  
Then he would rather stay here with her.  
He nodded determinedly, closing his puffy eyes and hugging his mother's body. He would go down with her.

Tsuna glanced at the door and saw the way slowly disappear. A small smile spread across his face. Maybe he would find peace now.  
From all the responsibilities.  
From his mistakes.  
From all the pain.  
From the mafia.  
From the creature.  
From his ... family ... from ... Kyōya ...

His eyes closed again and he tried to forget. He could rest now.  
Chunky black drops fell from the ceiling to his narrow shoulders. He felt how it ate through his skin and then his muscle tissue. It smelt of burnt meat. Therefore he tried to protect his mother better. _'What for?' _He thought to himself. She would burn with him.__

___"Tsunayoshi."_ Hushed a deep voice. The same voice that has been haunting him all along in this place. _"Let her go."_ But he shook his head, for which son would leave his mother behind?_ _

__Suddenly an immense force tore him away from her. "No!!" He felt strong arms around him. Arms in which he was often. Arms that gave him security. "No, no, no, that can't be true." He didn't want to turn around, because the face that would expect him ... would be unbearable.  
The person pulled him to the now destroyed door. Tsuna didn't try to avert his fixed eyes from Nana. At the door frame he saw how she regained consciousness. The panic in her eyes was blown away and replaced with sadness, yet she smiled and formed silent words with her mouth, which he could read easily._ _

__This was the last sight he saw before everything went black.  
Before a voice tried to wake him up.  
Before a person threatened to bite him to death.  
This person ... he hated him ...  
Because his mother was completely gone now ... because he had the feeling ... that he would never see her alive again ... 

__

____"Do not trust everyone, Tsu-kun."__ _ _

__

__He should know that it wasn't real. Something like a dream or even an illusion. An illusion created by a very specific person. But it never came to his mind. It was far too real to be a dream, no, a nightmare._ _

__Maybe the darkness wasn't so bad after all ..._ _


End file.
